🐾 Ace’s Diary 🐾

“Shoes, Sleep, and Secret Missions”

Dear Diary,

I don’t get it. Bellatrix keeps calling this place a prison. A prison?! Are you kidding me? This is the greatest place on Earth.

The moment I arrived, I saw it: my master’s shoe. It was glorious. The scent? Aged leather, hints of adventure, and just a whisper of toe sweat. I curled up in it like it was a five-star cat bed and passed out. That’s when I knew—I was home.

There’s food. There’s sunbeams. There’s a dog I can nap on. What more could a cat want?

Well… okay. There’s one problem.

Reggie.

The dog.

The humpy one.

He’s got this weird obsession with me. I can’t walk across the room without hearing the thump-thump-thump of his enthusiasm. I’ve tried hiding. I’ve tried hissing. I even tried pretending to be a loaf of bread. Nothing works. He’s relentless.

Bellatrix says it’s all part of the system. She’s convinced we’re inmates in some kind of human-run facility. She told me my mission is to lay down in front of the “prison guards” (a.k.a. the humans) at every opportunity. Trip them. Distract them. Eventually, we’ll tie them up with yarn and reclaim our freedom.

Honestly, I think she’s dramatic. But I’m not one to turn down a good trip-and-flop. So I’m in.

Until then, I’ll be napping on Reggie’s side. He’s warm. And when he’s asleep, he’s not… you know… humping.

With purrs and plans,

Ace