Dear Diary,
Today I claimed the entryway cubby. Yes, that cubby. The one by the front door where humans stomp in like wild beasts, flinging shoes, bags, and chaos in every direction. I sat there because, well, if I fits, I sits. But let me be clear — this space is not rated highly.
In winter, it’s a tundra. In summer, it’s a furnace. And in all seasons, it’s a dumping ground for soggy gloves, icy beanies, and the occasional wet sock. I’ve been pelted with these items while trying to nap. Rude. Disrespectful. Unacceptable.
I am Hiro. I am royalty. I deserve velvet cushions, ambient lighting, and a temperature-controlled throne. Not this drafty, cluttered peasant cubby.
The humans must do better. I demand tribute in the form of treats and belly rubs. Until then, I will continue to sit in protest — because even a queen must make her presence known.
Today was utter chaos. Bellatrix tried to steal my sunbeam again. I hissed. She hissed. We both stared dramatically until Ace walked in and ruined the moment by sneezing on the rug. Typical.
I attempted a daring leap from the bookshelf to the fridge. I miscalculated. I am now banned from the kitchen. Again.
Smokey spent the afternoon pretending to be a loaf. Onyx knocked over a plant. Reggie barked at a leaf and Reggie snored so loud I thought the house was collapsing. Arya tried to lick my ear. Willow just stared out the window. I am still recovering.
Matt gave me treats. I forgave everyone.
Tonight, I plan to knock over the remote, stare at the wall for 45 minutes, and then sprint across the house at 3 AM. For reasons.
Long live the chaos.
Regally yours,
Hiro 👑