🐾 Reggie’s Diary 🐾

“The Transformation of the Masters & Operation: Ace Domination”

Dear Diary,

Something is definitely up.

Bellatrix has been extra frisky lately. Like, tail-twitching, wall-scaling, demon-summoning frisky. I swear she’s possessed. Last night, the master screamed—actually screamed—and fell over. The other master rushed in, and then… he crawled to the bed on all fours.

I watched from my post on the floorboards, stunned.

Is he turning into a dog?

A cat?

A raccoon?

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

I must know. I’ve started surveillance. I’ve been watching everyone. Even the fish. Especially the bearded dragon. That thing knows something.

But amidst the madness, a miracle has occurred.

The masters have finally given me permission to hump Ace.

I know when it’s coming. I can sense it. Ace starts scratching the furniture like he’s summoning the spirits of chaos. And then… wait for it… wait for it…

“Ok Reggie, get him!”

Muahahaha.

That cat will bow down to me.

I am Reggie the Conqueror. The Hump Commander. The Brindle Boss.

This house may be weird. It may be loud. It may be crawling with cats, fish, dragons, and Milkshake.

But it’s mine.

And I’m keeping my eye on everyone.

With suspicion and swagger,

Reggie