I’ve been here the longest. I’ve seen things. I’ve chewed things. I’ve buried things. And I’ve tolerated a lot.
But this? This Reggie humping Ace situation? Absolutely disgusting.
I don’t care if it’s dominance, confusion, or some weird dog ritual. It’s beneath the dignity of this household. I bark. I growl. I give him the look. But Reggie? Reggie’s got the memory of a goldfish and the hormones of a teenager.
Every time I turn around, it’s happening again. And Ace? Poor Ace just stands there like a confused garden gnome.
So I remind Reggie—daily—that I’m in charge. I was here before the cats, before the chaos, before the treat drawer even existed. I run this place. I patrol the yard. I inspect the food bowls. I keep the humans in line.
Reggie may be younger, stronger, and full of questionable energy, but I’ve got seniority and sass. And if he humps Ace one more time, I swear I’m calling a family meeting.
— Signed, Willow the Wise