Dear Diary,
This morning? Betrayal. My human put me outside too early. The grass was wet. The air was suspicious. I barked. I protested. No one cared.
Then he left. Again. Kennel time. I don’t care how cozy it is—I’m not a fan. I deserve a throne, not a crate.
But there’s one perk: whenever the newest inmate scratches the furniture, I get to hump him. It’s justice. It’s dominance. It’s oddly satisfying.
Still, nothing beats my 4-mile walks with Dad. That’s when I’m truly alive. Unless it’s:
• Too cold ❄️
• Too hot ☀️
• Too fast 🏃♂️
Then I’m just mad again.
I’m Reggie. I’m complicated. I’m majestic. I’m misunderstood. And I swear, if someone puts me outside before 9 AM tomorrow, I’m filing a formal complaint.
— Signed, Reggie the Ruler