Dear Diary,
So apparently, the “Haunted Hinnie” is still back. Yep, that’s what Willow calls it. She says it’s not just my butt that’s possessed—it’s me. Excuse me?! I don’t know what she’s talking about. I’m perfectly normal… except for when I sleep. Okay, maybe my eyes roll back and my teeth show a little. Reggie says I look like a demon in a Christmas movie. He literally told me, “You look possessed when you sleep.” Thanks, bro. Super helpful.
Meanwhile, Willow is strutting around like a snow queen in that ridiculous hot pink jacket. She says it makes her look like a bubblegum burrito. Honestly, she’s not wrong. But she’s still acting like she’s better than us because she “likes the cold.” Whatever, Elsa.
Reggie? Still hasn’t settled down. He’s bouncing around like Santa gave him a sack of sugar cookies and an energy drink. I swear, Mom should’ve named him Beavis. Every time he zooms past, I hear it: “Settle down, Beavis!” It’s like living in a cartoon.
Oh, and Ace? That cat thinks he’s a dog. Every time we go outside, he sneaks out by running under Willow like a furry ninja. Our parents don’t even see him. He’s basically living his best double life—cat by day, wannabe dog by night. I’m just waiting for him to start barking.
Anyway, if Santa’s watching this circus, we’re doomed. Haunted hiney, bubblegum burrito, Beavis on a sugar high, and a cat with an identity crisis. Merry Christmas, Diary. Wish me luck.
—Arya 🎄👻🐾