Dear Diary,
Today was glorious.
I achieved full couch domination.
The weather was wet and gross, which normally means outside and wet paws, and absolutely not. I do not do soggy toes. I am a refined lady. So when the humans decided it was a no-walk day, I graciously accepted and immediately sprawled across the couch like a majestic, slightly snoring loaf. Belly up. Legs everywhere. Peak comfort.
Honestly? Best decision they’ve made all day.
Reggie, however, did not share my peaceful couch vibes. He was loud. So loud. For no reason. I am convinced he barks on purpose before we even get out the door just to warn the squirrel raiders. It’s like, “Attention squirrels! Willow is coming! Scatter immediately!”
RUDE.
How am I supposed to protect the yard when he blows my cover every single time?
Dad started calling Reggie a “butt hole” today. I don’t know what that means exactly, but based on the smell… I think I get it. Reggie farts more than any creature I have ever met. Dog. Cat. Human. Possibly dinosaur. It’s impressive in the worst way.
So while Reggie barked, stank, and embarrassed himself, I stretched across the couch, dry paws tucked safely away, ruling the living room like the calm, dignified queen I am.
Rain day?
No walks?
Entire couch?
10/10. Would avoid wet paws again. 🐾