Dear Diary,
Today I unveiled The Guns. Not actual weapons, of course—just my glorious, rippling biceps. Okay, fine, they’re legs. But they look like biceps when I stretch them out dramatically across a lap. I struck my most heroic pose and asked the room, “Did you buy tickets to this gun show?” I mean, come on. Look at me. I’m basically feline Hercules.
Bellatrix didn’t even blink. She sneered (classic Bellatrix) and said, “Is that why Reggie manhandles you all the time?” 😾
EXCUSE ME?
I’ve been helping her with her secret plans to overthrow the prison guards (aka the humans who control the treat cabinet), and this is how she repays me? Betrayal. Absolute betrayal. I even gave her my blueprint for the laser pointer distraction maneuver!
I’m not saying I cried, but I did dramatically flop onto the floor and stare into the void for a solid 17 minutes.
Anyway, I’ll be back. Stronger. Buffer. More majestic. They’ll all regret underestimating Ace the Mighty.
Flexingly yours,
Ace