Dear Diary,
Today was another thrilling episode of Snuggles & Naps: The Series. The couch is my kingdom, and my royal subjects (Willow, Reggie, and that Frenchie with the tongue problem) are all here, stacked like sardines. I’m the fluffy one in the middle, obviously the brains of this operation.
It’s cold, dark, and wet outside. Everyone hates it. Even Dad. He took the dogs for a walk the other day—4.8 miles at 4 miles per hour. Reggie came back acting like he’d just survived a marathon in the Sahara. Drama queen. Meanwhile, I was stuck inside, sharpening my claws on the couch and plotting my escape. Mom got me a harness, though. Maybe next time I’ll join the pack. Imagine the looks on the neighbors’ faces when they see a majestic feline strutting down the street like a discount panther. I’ll show them what cardio looks like.
Funny thing—I tried to convince Willow to teach me how to fetch yesterday. She just stared at me like I’d asked her to do taxes. Dogs are weird. They chase balls for free. I chase balls only if they’re expensive and filled with catnip. Standards, Diary. Standards.
Anyway, back to my nap. Life as a dog-in-training is exhausting. Tomorrow’s goal: bark convincingly enough to get a treat. If that fails, I’ll just knock something off the counter. Works every time.
Signed,
Ace – Future Dog, Current Couch Potato