One Toad Photography
Dear Diary, Today was almost my last. I was lounging innocently on the stair landing, contemplating the meaning of life (and kibble), when the chief prison guard thundered up the stairs like a rhinoceros in a rage. I swear on my last Temptations treat—I barely escaped with my tail intact. One more inch and I’d […]
Dear Diary, Something very strange is happening. Mysterious noises keep coming out of my butt. I’m not proud. I’m not even sure it’s me. At first, I blamed Hiro—she’s been smelling like expired tuna lately and everyone’s been talking about it. But then… the noises came when I was alone. LOUD noises. Like a trumpet […]
Dear Diary, It has come to my attention that everyone in this house is talking about how I “stink.” The betrayal. The audacity. The lack of foot rubs. I am a dignified elder, a former star of Hairy Kitten and the Chamber of Catnaps, and I demand respect—not rude commentary about my scent profile. Yes, […]
Dear Diary, Let’s get one thing straight: my butt is royalty. It does not touch the ground unless the surface meets my very specific standards of softness, plushness, and overall hiney luxury. Outside? Forget it. I sit on Arya. She’s warm, fluffy, and doesn’t complain (much). Inside? I require the finest blankets, cushions, or laps. […]
Dear Diary, Today I unveiled The Guns. Not actual weapons, of course—just my glorious, rippling biceps. Okay, fine, they’re legs. But they look like biceps when I stretch them out dramatically across a lap. I struck my most heroic pose and asked the room, “Did you buy tickets to this gun show?” I mean, come […]
The Season of Barking and Demons So… we got new collars. Not the cute kind with flowers or bones. Nope. These are training collars. You know why? Because Reggie is a menace. A loud, blanket-burrowing, cat-hating menace. He barks when the humans pet someone else. He barks when the cats sneeze. He barks when the […]
Meowdy, peasants. It’s me—Ace, the sleek, sophisticated, and clearly underappreciated mastermind of this madhouse. While Reggie’s out here farting under blankets and hogging the spotlight like he’s the star of a low-budget sitcom, I’m living a life of stealth, survival, and strategic snuggles. Let’s talk about Reggie’s assault attempt. I was minding my own business, […]
Woof woof, fellow furballs and hooman fans! It’s me, Reggie, your favorite four-legged philosopher, barking out my latest blog post. Yeah, that’s right, I’ve got my own blog now. What, you thought only cats could go viral? Puh-lease. I’m here to spill the kibble on my daily dramas, and let me tell you, living with […]
Dear Diary, It’s me, Hiro. You know, the original queen of this household before the new cats showed up and turned my life into a reality show I never auditioned for. Let’s talk about the harassment. Every day, I’m subjected to relentless commentary from the peanut gallery. Bellatrix struts around like she’s on a runway, […]
Dear Diary, I stole it. The thing Ace humps. He’s terrible at it. No form. No commitment. So I took it. I’m showing him how it’s done. But that’s not the real issue. I overheard Ace talking to Onyx. Something about Onyx escaping to join a resistance. A resistance. What a joke, right? Still… I’m […]
Dear Diary, I’m remembering my mentor. He used to hump things too. It’s weird. It’s like he came back… but as a dog. That can’t be true. Can it? I was the resistance leader once. Inside the prison. I believed in the cause. I believed in freedom. So I escaped. And I learned the truth. […]
Dear Diary, I’m officially classifying Reggie as The Fun Police. Anytime someone tries to do something fun—play, bark, chase a tail, steal a sock—he’s alerting the masters. Barking. Whining. Reporting us like we’re criminals. He’s paranoid. Always thinks the cats are after him. Always watching. Always tattling. And worst of all? Whenever the masters give […]